Fight Back Doubt and Get Prepared!

So you mean to tell me that everything that I've done........up until now........was for nothing.  Starting school when Braxton was 6-7 weeks old, pumping breast milk right after work to leave enough with my husband while I was in class......to driving back and forth from work-home-school, work-home-school............for 3 years.....to passing Chemistry online, learning from you-tube........to passing all Biology class online and again, learning from you-tube..........to having to drop out of Microbiology because of a possible C, to being able to leave work early for an entire semester to take another day class for micro and pass with a B, not to mention waitlisted for the class and bam.........no longer waitlisted.........to just making the cut off date to challenge the CNA exam with no experience what so ever, not a class, not a instructor, just you-tube..........to being the only one to pass the written and skills exam within a group of 8 students who DID take the CNA class, to being able to do CNA work with the CNA's I work with at my OBGYN for the mandatory 40 hours of experience, to failing (unfortunately) the TEAS twice and no points rewarded but it took me realizing that I was in just as good of enough shape because you no longer were awarded 50 points for just passing with a 71 percent.........to some students being admitted without TEAS points.....to there being a possibility that I WONT GET IT.........and all the above was for nothing.  To make me wait another semester.........or is this just what the devil wants me to think.


Gosh was I just in a funk from the fear of getting rejected out of no where.  I had to run out of work on my lunch break to literally cry because fear consumed me.  Doubt. Other students points. Applicant pool. You name it, I thought it was working against me. 


After sometime away from my desk, I was able to get it together. 


First I asked the Lord for forgiveness.  I spoke to my wonderful sister, and she told me why am I giving up before allowing God to move on my behalf.  To not pray and worry.  So thankfully, I was able to get myself back together and I did what I do best......keep going with the program, moved forward and found another way to prepare myself for when that door is open.  I went and ordered (with a Amazon gift card balance I had) Dosage Calculations 13th Edition that my school requires.  Supposedly there's a test on dosage calculations on the first day of class. 


I'd rather get prepared and continuing praying, then to sit and doubt what God has already done.